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Hydrangeas

by Annie S

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1.
Don't ask me how I am I'd like to hold her hand For just one hour more Someone I'd not known before They say she was full of life I saw it in her eyes But now they're staying closed There's so much I'd like to know Like why do you have twenty decks of cards? And do you remember who your best friends are? And do you realize just how much they care? 'Cause they do Let's say we did and not But nothing is forgot The hours sitting there Hunched over in a chair And does she even know We don't want her to go? She said the times was right My questions just take flight Like who said he'd love you to the bitter end? And what were the final memories in your head? And do you realize just how much you're loved? 'Cause you are I've never been through this before My eyes go to the door Each time you fail to breath I love someone I don't know And I hate that you're alone But maybe you don't even know I guess that's my hope But why do you have twenty decks of cards? And do you remember who your best friends are? And do you realize just how much they care? 'Cause they do So much for you And I do too
2.
Went home and cried When you said I'd know that face Any day Not strangers anymore We shared our hearts but not our souls I do recall The trees blowing in the wind For three seasons I'd give anything for one more I never could stand a closed door Now the face of Emily reminds me of you So how can I casually walk by your old room? Now I'll be left remembering you for longer Than I've known you I see it now The corners of your mouth They start to fade No you'd never let them know How you're feeling your mind go Back in your room Where it's only me and you The tears stream down And they fall from my eyes too When you beg to God to be through Now the thought of you on the floor Wakes me from sleep I'll still go up to your door But there's no one there to meet Now I'll be left remembering you for longer Than I've known you You said I saved you from a certain death Well hey it goes both ways I think we both were saved And though now the tears are pouring down I know to grieve so hard Means there was so much love And though I'll be left remembering you for longer Than I've known you You'll be in my heart forever until one day When I see you Went home and cried When I heard that you had gone From this earth But then I saw your peaceful smile And I knew that you felt loved
3.
4.
I can remember you But it's an open wound To see our hands interlocked Looking out at the fall The last season that you saw I see you everywhere Your sweater's on my chair Now I buy hydrangeas And funny colored little mums To have a moment next to you And when will it end? When will your name bring a smile again? Instead of tears and fears and dashed hopes And grief and loss and sad prose And why was it now? I can't stand the thought of losing somebody else So it's just quick and numb and closed off And walks that last way too long With never ending circuits That never serve their purpose 'Cause you're gone I can remember you But it's an open wound I see you everywhere Your sweater's on my chair Now it's just love turned grief Do you remember me?

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On this All Souls' Day, a collection of songs about grief and loss, but also love and gratitude and the relationship between all of those experiences.

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released November 2, 2023

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Annie S Saint Paul, Minnesota

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